Editor's Note: This was originally published for FANGORIA on February 3, 2015, and we're proud to share it as part of The Gingold Files.
You have to admire an actress who can keep a clear-headed view of the Hollywood/casting machine, and who counts Andrzej Zulawski’s Possession as a favorite film and inspiration. Both came into play when Alexandra Essoe took the starring role in Starry Eyes, which she discusses in this exclusive interview.
Written and directed by Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer, Starry Eyes follows Sarah Walker (Essoe), a young woman anxious to make it in the movie business. Surrounded by fellow strivers—some cutthroat, others just big talkers—she gets what seems like her big break when she nails an audition for a new horror flick. But the way in which she nails it points to a dark side within Sarah—one her new employers are anxious to tap for their own sinister purposes. This transformative turn, which has the Saudi Arabia-born Essoe up for a FANGORIA Chainsaw Award, is her own first lead following early work as a model and roles in films like the thriller Surviving Crooked Lake and TV shows such as Reaper; she will be seen soon in Axelle Carolyn’s segment of Tales of Halloween and opposite Ashley Bell and Sara Rue in Dark Intentions, the latest from Chris Sivertson of The Lost and All Cheerleaders Die. But for now, there’s her star-making role in Starry Eyes to dig into…
What was your reaction when you first went in to read for Starry Eyes, and learned you were auditioning for a movie about auditioning?
It’s funny—at the very first audition, I had no idea what the movie was about. I knew it was a horror movie, but I didn’t know acting was even a theme in it. When I went to the callback, and I actually got the script and saw what it was about, I was ravenous to be a part of it, because I loved the whole meta idea of a film about acting. That whole genre is really dear to my heart.
Were there any challenges in playing an actress who is different from your own self?
Yeah, and it’s funny, because part of the challenge was owning up to what I and the character had in common [laughs], and exposing the darker parts of myself that I don’t really share with people—because that’s a lot of what acting is. So there was a difficulty to it, but there was also catharsis, and I was excited to have what I do for a living represented in such an unglorified way. For all its supernatural qualities, I think Starry Eyes conveys a lot of naked truths about acting and about making your way through the industry, the things you have to navigate and the personal demons you have to slay.
Before the movie gets to its truly dark material, it has some fun with the strange stuff that can happen at auditions. Have you ever gone on one as odd as some of those we see in Starry Eyes?
No, I haven’t. I have encountered dismissive people—directors or casting directors or whoever—in the audition room, who sort of remind you that you’re at the bottom of the food chain. But I’ve never been asked to disrobe at an audition, and I’ve never had a strobe light in my face—yet. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. Perhaps one day… [Laughs]
How about Sarah’s circle of friends—did any of them remind you of people you’ve known?
Oh my God, yes—completely. I’ve met many girls like [the ruthless] Erin since I moved to LA, because competition is fierce. I say girls because I’m a girl and that’s what I’m more exposed to, but there are a lot of people who feel that the way to be truly competitive is to eliminate the competition, or break them down, instead of focusing on their own work and ambitions—the things they really care about. And in Los Angeles, you constantly meet people who think that talking about something is the same thing as doing it, and they go on forever about their résumés and people they’ve met and people they’ve worked with, but you never actually see anything from them.
Conversely, how did you get along with your co-stars? You’ve got some cool genre people in there, like Amanda Fuller, Marc Senter and Noah Segan.
Oh my goodness, I got along and get along with them famously. Everyone I worked with had significantly more experience than me, and I found them extremely nurturing and accepting and patient with me. That was actually one thing that made my job hard, because at first I was like, “Great, I don’t know any of these people, and they know each other, so I can use that for Sarah’s feelings of alienation.” But everyone was so nice to me, it made it really hard to do that [laughs]!
Did they give you any pointers on acting in a horror film?
Amanda did, since she and I worked so closely together. A lot of my scenes with them were in a group setting, but she and I had a lot of one-on-one. I also learned a lot from watching her approach and how she prepared and how exacting she was in every scene I had with her. Actually, I can say that too about Fabianne Therese, who played Erin; she’s definitely an example of an actress who’s in it for all the right reasons.
Your auditions for Starry Eyes are on the DVD and Blu-ray, and reveal that you physically threw yourself into the role right from the start. How did you get yourself into the proper headspace for those moments so early in the process?
Well, I guess you could say I cheated a bit, because when I saw the material and what was expected of me, I kind of borrowed from Isabelle Adjani in Possession, which is one of my favorite horror movies ever. I was like, “OK, I’ve gotta go full tilt, it’s got to be like [Possession’s] subway scene. I can’t try to control it; I’ve got to just let it happen.” It’s funny, because I’m not a huge fan of my auditions, and when I was told they were going to be put on the discs, I was like, “It would be hypocritical of me not to have them on there, it’s a great idea; I just don’t know if I want anyone to see what was really a rough draft of my performance.” I am glad they’re on there, and that people can see how it evolved from humble beginnings.
Have you auditioned for many horror films in the past, and were you able to draw from any of those experiences?
Yeah, I have, but never for a role like Sarah. You don’t often find parts like that for girls in horror movies…actually, I shouldn’t say that, because there have been great roles for women in horror in the last few years, but there was never anything I felt I could really sink my teeth into. I don’t want to be in a horror movie if I’m just going to be a coed who gets stabbed; that’s not why I do this. I feel extremely fortunate, because normally you don’t get a part that is so involved and weird and multidimensional like Sarah, so I felt I was being handed a pot of gold.
As a horror fan yourself, did you enjoy dealing with all the prosthetics and blood, etc.?
So much—I loved that so much! The makeup in Starry Eyes is almost a character in itself; Hugo Villasenor is a genius with that stuff, so I felt I was in really good hands. It wasn’t like they were just finger-painting on my face with a bunch of blood. I would be in makeup for something like five to seven hours depending on what we were shooting, but it looked so cool, it didn’t matter how cold or uncomfortable I was. Makeup really informs a performance, especially in a genre like horror. It’s surreal how there can be one detail added that just anchors everything.
You were a runway model before you got into acting, and that seems like an even more competitive and cutthroat business. Did your experience there prepare you for the movie and TV field?
Actually, yeah, because at least in acting, there’s more involved than just being pretty. You actually have to know how to do something; in modeling it literally is, “Do you have the look we want? No? Goodbye.” I can go into an audition and feel like I’m not being taken seriously, but I still feel like a human being, I still feel undaunted—I’m an actor and working toward something outside of myself. But with modeling, that’s really all there is to it, and there are always more people where you came from. It wasn’t really my scene; I got to travel a bit, I got to make some money, but ultimately it didn’t make me feel like I was advancing toward anything. It definitely gave me a thicker skin for getting into something like acting, though.
Since Starry Eyes has received exposure at festivals and elsewhere, have other actors approached you saying they can relate to it in some way, or shared their own horror stories about the process?
It’s interesting; a lot of actors have approached me and kind of reached out to me, but not a lot of them have broached the subject of how difficult what we do is. I don’t feel like a lot of actors talk about that, actually. Just in general, I rarely hear them refer to the slog and the rejection and the mockery and the dismissal. It seems like a lot of actors have this idea that they have to be upbeat and positive about everything, and that for them to openly criticize the industry they’re part of, or how hard it is for them, would come across as sort of ungrateful.
I don’t happen to believe that’s the case, and I would never think of someone as ungrateful or bitter just because they’re being honest, you know? It’s work, it’s a job, it’s an industry just like anything else, and there’s a whole bunch of bullshit that goes along with it. But it pays amazing dividends, especially if you’re an actor who genuinely loves to act. Yet I find that because they feel like they’re at the bottom of the food chain, they don’t want to ruffle any feathers, or come across like they’re dissatisfied in any way. That’s all pure conjecture, but I can only assume that’s why people don’t say, “Yeah, I hate when casting directors rush me out of a room,” or “I hate when they tell me I’m wasting their time.”
